Not all survivors of sexual abuse show their emotions outwardly. On the one hand, some may appear calm and unaffected by the assault; on the other hand, some survivors become hyper-sexual or promiscuous following sexual attacks—sometimes as a way to reassert a measure of control over their sexual relations (I think this is more me).
To all including men,(yes men are victims as well) who have been victims, know that your silence only cripples you but your voice will make you victorious. Despite all these years, I am still trying to overcome and be victorious, some days are good some are bad, but I believe I am a survivor.
Fast forward to the year 2002 – I was lying in bed nursing my newborn baby, I had a phone call, my husband passed me the phone someone called Chidi wanted to speak to me, as I picked up the phone and said hello, how could I not recognise that voice? It was the voice of “aunty” (our nanny), I asked how she got my number and she told me “daddy” had given it to her, she had heard I had had a baby and wanted to come and visit me, without thinking or rather more out of curiosity I gave her the address, two days later she turned up with her husband and a mountain of gifts, I welcomed her into my house and she carried my baby, I asked her about her own kids and she looked up and told me God had not blessed her with any, despite being married for over 20 years (which means she had not had any kids).
Have you ever heard the word SCHADENFREUDE? It means – Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. I rest my case.